


Not Even Second~ EnnoTana

by Nickoliz_B1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Ennoshita Chikara is a Good Friend, Gay Disaster Ennoshita Chikara, Gay Ennoshita Chikara, M/M, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor Kinoshita Hisashi/Narita Kazuhito, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke are Bros, Pining, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1
Summary: I knew it was stupid to fall.I knew I shouldn't have.But I can't help it.
Relationships: Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke
Comments: 8
Kudos: 66





	Not Even Second~ EnnoTana

  
  
  


“How does meat buns sound?” Tanaka asks. “Sounds good to me.” I tell him. I look back and Noya jumps around chanting, “Meat buns!” Kinoshita just nods for an answer. I smile and turn back to Tanaka. “Meat buns then.” Tanaka says. We go get meat buns to eat as we walk home. I take small bites and when I finish my first one, Tanaka and Noya have already finished 5. “You got stuff on your face.” Tanaka says. He uses his thumb and wipes off a piece of meatbun from my face. I feel blood rush to my ears and I nod, “Thanks.” He smiles and slings an arm around me. “Let’s start getting home.” 

Noya and Kinoshita split from us as we keep walking down the streets. “Do you feel rain drops?” Tanaka asks. I look around and shake my head, “I don’t feel anything.” Just as I say that, I feel it. A huge raindrop. “Run to the shop!” Tanaka yells and sprints. I run after him and it starts pouring on us. Tanaka makes it first and doesn’t get as wet as me. “Lucky. You run fast.” I say and he laughs, “Fine. We can both be wet.” I reach to grab him but he jumps out into the pouring rain. “Isn’t it nice?” he asks letting the rain fall around him. I smile and nod, “Too cold for my taste though.” Tanaka smirks and before I know it he pulls me into the rain with him. “It’s too cold! Let me get back!” I yell and Tanaka laughs, “Never!” He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. “You are mine now!” he yells and I laugh, “Let me go!” I scream but Tanaka only laughs. When he sets me down I’m to wet to go back under at this point. I smile and jump in a puddle to splash Tanaka. We jump around in the puddles and jump in the flowing streams. “Jump over this. It’ll ruin your shoes.” Tanaka says. I jump over and wait for him. He starts but trips and falls straight into the huge river. I laugh at him as he gets up soaking and looking mad. Then he laughs along and we can’t breathe. 

It’s the best memory I have with him. We walk home together and you apologize to my mom for how wet we are. I don’t get in trouble because of you and my mom lets you stay over so you don’t get even more wet. We take turns showering and I give you some of my clothes. Everyone thought I got sick because I was super red but I just thought you looked cute in my clothes. It made me happy. Every memory with you is happy. You make me happy. And that’s why I can say you truly are my best friend. Even if I want more, I will still call you my best friend happily. 

  
  
  


The next week we go to school and everything becomes normal again. You hang more with Noya at school because you have more classes together. I get more time with Kinoshita when he’s not with Narita. At practice, all you do is mess around or follow Kiyoko around. I know Noya is joking about it and he only sees her as a friend but I don’t know about you. You take it so seriously. Noya has a boyfriend too. He might be bi and know an attractive female but he’s loyal. I don’t know you well enough to say if you are straight or not. I assume you are though. It would make my life easier if I knew you were. Would make it easier to get over you. The only problem is Noya says you are pan. If that is true, I could have a chance. I could be with you. But is it worth the wait? Are you worth the wait?

  
  


After practice, Tanaka stays behind to help Kiyoko with cleaning. I leave with Noya, Kinoshita, and Narita. We plan to eat at a ramen place. I would invite Tanaka but he probably wants to be alone with Kiyoko right now. Which I get. I understand. I support him. I just. . . wish I was her. Wish I was the one he followed around. Wish I was the one he worshipped. Wish I was the one he loved. When we sit down at the ramen place, I sit quietly with my ramen. I don’t have much to say. I don’t know how to join their conversation. Tanaka usually helped me join the conversations. He knows I’m not the best with people and being social. But he’s not here today. 

“You good, Ennoshita?” Noya says. I turn and they are all staring at me. “Yeah, just thinking.” I say and go back to staring at my ramen. “You haven’t eaten anything.” Noya comments. “I’m not super hungry.” I tell him. They stare at me for a bit before Noya puts an arm around me. “Who’s the person?” I sigh and shake my head, “No one important. They are probably straight.” “I knew it! Pay up, Kinoshita!” Narita yells. Me and Noya look over as Kinoshita hands 1,000 yen to Narita. “Sorry, continue.” Kinoshita says, pocketing the money. “Why do you think they are straight?” Noya asks and I laugh, “It’s Tanaka. Everyone thinks he’s straight.” Noya frowns and puts a hand on my shoulder, “I know how Tanaka acts around Kiyoko but he could be like me. He’s never said he’s straight but he hasn’t come out to me either. I think you might have a chance though. If Tanaka doesn’t like Kiyoko then it’s you.” Noya encourages me. I shake it off though, “No. Please don’t say that. I want to be told he’s straight. I don’t want to think I have a chance.” I tell them and Kinoshita frowns, “Why? You are literally perfect for him.” I shake my head, “No. If I think I have a chance, I’ll get happy about it and fall even more and get my heart broken even further.” I tell them. Kinoshita nods, “I understand. I had the same thing with Narita before we started dating. I thought he liked this girl from our class but they were just friends. I hadn’t known if Narita was straight or not so I didn’t want to overhype myself.” I nod and sigh, “Yeah, you get it.” he nods and Narita does too. “Any advice Narita?” Noya asks. “Ask what he is.” Narita says. Everyone turns, shocked but Narita is serious, “I mean it. Just ask him. He’s your best friend. You should know this stuff about each other.” Noya smiles and nods, “Yeah! I think he’s right! Ask!” I smile faintly and shrug, “Maybe. If I ever get comfortable enough.” Noya nods and Kinoshita puts a arm around me. “Whenever you are ready.” 

  
  


Tanaka and I head out that day for some shopping. Tanaka needs new volleyball shoes and I need new kneepads. Not the best time to ask but maybe it will lead somewhere. We head inside and Tanaka shows me all the nice shoes. I help him pick out the pair we think looks coolest. Of course, we can’t beat Noya who got Big Sis to add the sketches lights to the bottom of his. Big Sis won’t even do that for Tanaka and he’s her actual brother. We grab some kneepads as well and I grab out money to pay for both of them. “I can pay for your shoes too.” I tell him. He looks at me and smiles, “No way. I can pay for them.” I grab his wallet from him and start counting his money. As I thought, he doesn’t have enough. “You can always ask when you need financial help. Keep the money you have for other things. This can be a gift from me.” I say, taking his shoes and giving his money back. He sighs as I pay for the shoes and kneepads. “Now I owe you money.” he says. “You don’t owe me shit.” I tell him. “I owe you money.” he complains. I shake my head and we continue down the street to get food. “Food’s on me this time!” Tanaka says. 

We eat out and joke around before my curfew comes close. We leave and walk quickly back to my place. “How has things been with your mom recently?” Tanaka asks. I sigh and shake my head, “Normal stuff. Yelled at weekly, curfew getting earlier and earlier, hates all my friends, and trying to make me quit the volleyball team because it’s a girls sport and it’s what made me gay.” I tell him. He puts an arm around me and rests his head against mine, “I’m sorry. I wish I could steal you and save you from her.” he says. “You already save me when you hang out with me.” I say and he laughs, “Yeah I guess so.” “Tanaka?” I stop walking to turn to Tanaka. I feel like I should see his face when I ask. “What’s up?” he asks. I hesitate. I don’t know what to do. My breathing stops and I have to remember to breathe and control it. “Are you gay?” I ask. Once it’s out I turn red and look away. I don’t know how he will react to this. He laughs, “Wow, am I on your gaydar?” he asks. I turn to him horrified that he’s straight and making fun of me, “I don’t know I was just wondering. . .” I say and he smiles, “It’s fine. I’m actually Bisexual.” he explains. My breathing stops. I nod and can feel my face turning red. “I’m glad you told me.” I tell him and he smiles, “Of course! You are one of the most important people in my life! I’d tell you anything if you ask!” I smile and nod, “Yeah, thanks!”

  
  


The next day, I run to Noya’s house. Now normally, I don’t run because it’s not that far but today I ran. Like, Hinata and Kageyama racing, ran. As soon as his mom opened the door I walked in and let myself upstairs to his room. Now, I was not expecting Asahi to be here but I could care less. “Noya I got news.” I say sitting on his bed. He and Asahi are cuddling on the beanbag chair over by his tv. “One second babe.” Noya says and gets off Asahi’s lap. He looks sad but he is patient. Noya comes over and sits down to hear the news. “I asked Tanaka.” I tell him. His eyes widen and he smiles, “What did he say?” Noya asks, bouncing in his seat. “He’s Bi.” Noya squeals and I smile, “I knew it. You do have a chance and I bet you he likes you.” Noya tells me. I smile but shake my head, “I could wish.” Noya smiles and ruffles my hair, “You wish is granted. Now, my mom leaves for work in like 10 minutes and I would like to have sex with Asahi so get the fuck out!” Noya says. My mouth drops and Noya smiles, “Love you!” I shake my head and make my way out. 

  
  
  


I went on for another two weeks wondering. I finally decided now though. I’m going to ask him out. I’m going to do it. I have the whole thing planned. After practice I will stay late with Tanaka to clean. After we change and change out we walk home together. Get meat buns and it’s supposed to rain. It’ll be like that one day and while we are dancing in the rain I’ll ask. It’ll be perfect. Everything is perfect. 

  
  


When practice ends, Daichi puts me and Tanaka in charge of cleaning and Kiyoko to lock up the gym. This gives me my time with Tanaka and I can go through the plan. “Do you have any plans after this?” I ask Tanaka while sweeping. “Nah, I was thinking of getting some food though.” he says. “Do you want to get meat buns?” I ask and he smiles, “Yeah sure! That sounds great.” I smile and nod. When I finish my cleaning, I head back to the clubroom to change out. When I’m done changing, Tanaka isn’t back yet. I go to the gym to check on him and when I look in, I can feel tears form in my eyes. In the back of the gym, Tanaka is there kissing Kiyoko. 

I should’ve known. Bi isn’t gay. He likes girls too. I didn’t have a chance compared to her. I would always be the second choice. I am a second choice. I always will be. I run away from the gym and skip meat buns. I go home as fast as I can. I hate the rain anyways. It’s probably better if I don’t get caught it in. Mom won’t yell as much so that’s a plus. And when I’m home, I can cry in my room in piece. I can be alone in piece. I can tell myself how stupid I was in piece. I can tell myself the hard truth that I’m not the first choice. I never will be. 

  
  


The next day Tanaka calls me to hang out. I accept and we meet up at the meat buns place. “We didn’t get any yesterday.” Tanaka tells me. “My mom called.” I tell him. He nods but I’m sure he knows something was up. “Hey Tanaka?” I ask and he smiles, “What’s up?” “How did you know you were Bi?” I ask. He frowns, “Why?” I knew he would ask. I had prepared this conversation for when I hang out with him next. I didn’t think it’d be so soon though. “I think I might be Bi. I have always thought I’m gay but I think girls are pretty.” I tell him. He nods and thinks, “Well, my first crush was Kiyoko-San. Then after I got rejected a ton, I started noticing one of my friends was really cute and I sorta liked them. But I’m back to Kiyoko-San.” he tells me. I nod, “Can I ask who the friend is?” I ask and he nods, “Yeah sure! It’s Noya.” I smile and nod, “That makes sense. I guess he’s cute, isn’t he?” Tanaka smiles and nods, “Yep. Asahi got lucky.” I nod with him and smile but I want to cry.

I was hoping for maybe a delayed response. Trying to fight it or something. But he was so okay with saying it was Noya. Because it’s not me. He’s not attracted to me. I’ve been friendzoned. And I can’t change it. I will never be seen by him that way. I don’t know how to be. I wish I did. I wish he would love me. I wish I didn’t tell myself he liked me. I wish I didn’t ask at all. I wish nothing happened. If I had never done anything about my stupid crush, everything would’ve been better. But I let it grow. I let it get here. And now I will suffer for it. Silently and alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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